I'm pissed but I can't show it. I'm sad yet I can't cry. I'm making a mask to cover my emotions. I feel like I was already taking my first step backwards, back to how I was before. I'm trying my best to keep my posture as I do this but one thing is different for sure. I wasn't crying so badly like I did, but the tears were all contained in my heart, which felt like it's going to explode every second,...

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Should I make this into a private blog? Since I don't intend to earn money from it. HmmmTomorrow is Christmas Eve! Going to follow baby boy to his friend's house for BBQ. Heard it's going to be a late party counting down the seconds to Christmas Day. The 2nd thing I'm looking forward to is New Year's Eve. Why? Have you heard the first of the year? Yes, I'm waiting to kiss my baby boy on New Year....

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I guess blogging is and will remain the best place for me to let it all out. I've been like a barrel full of water with continuous flow-ins all the time. No outlets what so ever. I feel like I was about to explode, emotionally.First it was the thing about money. I don't get a stable monthly allowance. I only get it when I'm being asked if I needed any. I just don't have the gut to ask from my parents...

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