I've lost my appetite for who knows how long. I've lost sense of time and date. I could feel the bones on my shoulder everytime I take my shower. Just like I would say in all theother times, I'll take this like a diet. At least I'm losing some fats.
A friend of mine once told me : Even if you put a smile on your face, everyone can tell you're really sad inside and you're going through a tough time. It all shows in your eyes.
No wonder I kept taking new pictures. I don't feel like the pictures I take is satisfying. It is missing something.
I don't know who I can believe anymore. I don't want to listen to what people have to say but at the same time I want to listen. How do I actually express how I feel? Sometimes it's like expressing my feelings doesn't even work. I'll still feel the same. Unsatisfied. Unhappy.
I'm just waiting to get past this horrible time and feeling. I know there are more people out there with worst situations than I am. Some don't even have food, water or shelter. I should be thankful and glad I have all those. Sigh.
I want to close my eyes and think of nothing. I keep thinking of things to keep me busy and to make the time tick faster everyday. Waking up is something I don't really look forward to anymore. I prefer going to sleep and dream. Everything feels ok when I'm in my dreams. When I wake up, felt like nightmare is just about to begin. I know there are lots of assignments to do. I should be doing them. But I kept pushing them to tomorrow, when I don't look forward to tomorrow.
I feel like eating tosai tisu now. I'm hungry. Lol. So weird.
Can't go out. And I don't want to go out. I've noticed my face is getting clearer. I haven't had pimples on my face for almost a month already (apart from the only one small pimple I had from rushing assignments at 3am). I should be confident enough to go out but no I'm not. It's not about confidence anymore. I can wear pretty clothes and go out, but there are no more reasons to wear pretty clothes.
My puppy's mouth stinks! Gosh, but it's still cute. Smelly boy. Haha...
Waiting for my mom and sis to come home. Apparently my sister doesn't start work so early yet. No more Singapore trip I guess. =(
Jac
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